So maybe it’s been a few weeks, a few months or even a few years, since your divorce.
You have weathered the storm, healed the heartache, and found yourself all over again.
Do you feel that you are ready to start dating again, but have no idea how to go about it? Times have changed, and so has the dating scene.
If you have no idea where to start, then you have come to the right place! Keep on reading for the ultimate guide to dating after a divorce in 2020!
Tips to date after divorce with kids
Are you really ready?
Before you jump into the dating pool, you will need to ask yourself if you are truly ready to begin dating again. Dating doesn’t mean rushing into another marriage, but it does mean moving on from the past and finding happiness with someone new.
Before you can be happy with someone new, you first need to be content and happy with yourself. This cannot happen until you are done figuring out who you are again after your divorce.
Sometimes during the marriage, we turn into someone completely different than we were before entering the marriage. Stress, responsibilities, and depression can all leave a mark on our personalities. We might have forgotten who we are.
Take the time to find yourself again. What do you like? What are you passionate about? Try something new! Knowing yourself and what makes you happy will help you meet the right person; someone who will accept you for who you are because you know exactly who you are.
If you are still unsure and are still in a lot of pain from your divorce, take your time and heal first. Jumping into another relationship could just end up causing more heartache or even lead to self-destructive behaviors, like sleeping around with many different people. You need to value and respect yourself. If you can do this, then the next person you date will value and respect you too.
Make a list of what you would like
If you truly are ready, make a list of the qualities you would like in the person that you would like to date. This will help you be open-minded when meeting new people. Have you ever told yourself you will never date a man who is younger than you?
You could be setting yourself up for failure. Perhaps someone has every single quality that you are looking for, but they are a bit younger than you are, would you give them a chance? Sometimes we can find love in the most unexpected places.
If you are on the lookout for qualities, then this will help you find the right person. Do you want someone who is kind? Honest? Hardworking? A family man? Or would you like someone who has an adventurous spirit?
Someone smart and patient? If you know what qualities are important to you, then you will be on the lookout for someone who possesses these qualities.
It is also important to think about what you can and can not live without. Just keep in mind that no one is perfect. They might not tick all your boxes, so you will need to see if they can make you feel happy and fulfilled.
When you do start dating, do things that you were always nervous to do before. Go hiking together, take a cookery class together, or an art class.
Going on different types of dates will allow you to see your new beau in many different situations.
Plus it will be fun! Stepping out of your comfort zone allows for personal growth and a confidence boost.
Don’t lose yourself
Many women forget who they are when they start dating. Sometimes they might try too hard to be the person they think their date wants, causing them to lose themselves. Don’t do that. Don’t change to make someone else happy.
If the person isn’t right for you, or if they don’t make you happy, show them the door. You have already lived through a past trauma with your divorce. You don’t need to do the same thing again.
Be honest and open
When you feel ready, tell your new date about your past. If they ask you about your past, be open about it. You don’t have to share every single detail immediately, but it is always good to be honest.
When you are ready, you can both have deep meaningful conversations about your past. Remember, your past has made you who you are today.
And your new lover’s past made them who they are today. To really understand each other, talking about your past will be a great way to go to the next level. It will help build trust in your new relationship.
Be truthful about whether or not you have kids. Mention if you and your ex are still friends or if your ex is a crazy dangerous stalker. These are all things that are important for your new flame to know.
Where to find a date?
This can be a bit tricky, but it doesn’t have to be. Many women use online dating to meet new people.
You could also go to social events, join new clubs, such as a jogging club, or even listen to your friends who might be trying to set you up with someone. Put yourself out there! You never know who you might meet.
Don’t introduce your kids to someone new too soon
If you have children, want to date after divorce with kids, don’t introduce them to someone new too quickly. You need to be completely sure that the person you are with is someone that you would like your kids to meet.
It can be hard for children to see their moms with someone new. It can also be unsettling if you bring a new boyfriend to meet your children every few weeks.
You also need to be careful that the person you are dating is genuine. You wouldn’t want to bring someone into your home that could pose a threat to your kids. Time will show someone’s true colors. So be patient and be 100% sure before your kids meet your new love interest.
Trust your woman’s intuition!
Intuition is an amazing thing. Has there ever been a tiny voice in your head that tells you to be careful?
If you get any weird vibes, trust your gut. If you feel that this person isn’t right for you, end the relationship. There is no point in continuing on if the relationship isn’t going to go anywhere.
You need to be happy. When it comes to dating, make sure that you are ready and happy. Don’t date someone who makes you feel terrible all over again.
Be strong and find that special someone who will make you feel happy and fulfilled. You deserve to be treated and loved like a queen. Don’t accept anything less.